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From discussing the five love languages during dinner to telling stories about our exes at Coit Tower, we didn’t even notice that we had traversed four San Francisco neighborhoods and logged 10,000 steps.

We had a lot in common, having experienced what some might describe as all-American upbringings.

At 2 a.m., two blocks from Chinatown, Sarah ended our first date by telling me that my race might be an issue.

What was supposed to be a one-hour coffee date had evolved into a nine-hour marathon.

I’m not sure how I feel about that.”After talking nonstop all day, I was at a loss for words. When my friends ask what happened, I’ll say, ‘She had everything going for her, but sometimes things get between people.’” I smiled. I knew Sarah wasn’t unusual when it came to these preferences.She thought she knew what kind of person she would find attractive and marry.We all do that to some degree, whether those expectations involve race, career choice or the number of children we want.Because here’s the kicker: Sarah is Asian-American. Mine came from mainland China.“If things don’t work out,” she said, “would it hurt your confidence? It’s shockingly common to come across profiles that say, “Sorry, no Asians.”Maybe Asian men need better representation.When I was growing up, there were no mainstream movies like “Crazy Rich Asians” putting a spotlight on attractive Asian leading men.

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